I don't feel like I can wear the niqab or hijab here, in logging town.
I don't feel Muslim enough to wear niqab anymore. Says the person who still says the dua as-safr every time they get in the car. Which one of us is Muslim enough? Is it the person who's already wearing the niqab? That doesn't determine one's Muslimness.
The niqab isn't culturally acceptable to white people. I'm not culturally acceptable to a lot of Muslims. I don't want to be called a hypocrite by both sides for whichever minor thing I'm doing. So I forgot and ate a jelly candy, fuck off.
I have pretty good hair and it's a shame to flatten it all the time. I like wearing too much eyeliner and I'm not going to stop. Women wouldn't hit on me in public anymore.
I devoted myself to my faith from my early twenties until I came back to Canada four years ago, and I don't feel like I'm devoting myself to my faith now. My husband died and I didn't pray for years. I just felt dead. I don't know how to revive that joy or be that young again.
I don't want to get married again to have sex. I haven't actually done this. I'm probably right that I'm not Muslim enough. I don't really see the point of getting married here, widowed and 34. I'm old and no longer valuable. We have messed up ideas about what makes women valuable, but I can't make that different.
I think I should have the option of being visibly Muslim in public and have that be normal. I don't think I should have to wear one thing all the time, or be only one thing. A few women who no longer wear the niqab have told me they eventually found it was restrictive and they couldn't pursue other interests. The culture is restrictive, but I don't think it has to be. One can be devoted to their faith and also care about other things.
I wear $2 titanium rings I bought on eBay with the shahadah inscribed on them in Arabic, and a leather jacket. I testify that there is no God but God... I doubt anyone notices. I want my faith to be that indestructible.
I don't feel Muslim enough to wear niqab anymore. Says the person who still says the dua as-safr every time they get in the car. Which one of us is Muslim enough? Is it the person who's already wearing the niqab? That doesn't determine one's Muslimness.
The niqab isn't culturally acceptable to white people. I'm not culturally acceptable to a lot of Muslims. I don't want to be called a hypocrite by both sides for whichever minor thing I'm doing. So I forgot and ate a jelly candy, fuck off.
I have pretty good hair and it's a shame to flatten it all the time. I like wearing too much eyeliner and I'm not going to stop. Women wouldn't hit on me in public anymore.
I devoted myself to my faith from my early twenties until I came back to Canada four years ago, and I don't feel like I'm devoting myself to my faith now. My husband died and I didn't pray for years. I just felt dead. I don't know how to revive that joy or be that young again.
I don't want to get married again to have sex. I haven't actually done this. I'm probably right that I'm not Muslim enough. I don't really see the point of getting married here, widowed and 34. I'm old and no longer valuable. We have messed up ideas about what makes women valuable, but I can't make that different.
I think I should have the option of being visibly Muslim in public and have that be normal. I don't think I should have to wear one thing all the time, or be only one thing. A few women who no longer wear the niqab have told me they eventually found it was restrictive and they couldn't pursue other interests. The culture is restrictive, but I don't think it has to be. One can be devoted to their faith and also care about other things.
I wear $2 titanium rings I bought on eBay with the shahadah inscribed on them in Arabic, and a leather jacket. I testify that there is no God but God... I doubt anyone notices. I want my faith to be that indestructible.
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